“WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR THE BEST”

April 2, 2020

Life is all about experiences and based on those experiences, over time, your outlook towards life and the world forms & changes.

Likewise, I too have become more philosophical, definitely more religious and have come to sincerely believe in (& follow) a saying we learnt from my father–

Whatever happens, happens for the best;

Whatever happens, happens the way God wants it to

   because that’s the best way

So when my sailing friends, Bill & Kate Gover invited me to cruise with them on ‘SY SENETO’ around the world (https://billkatesail.wordpress.com/), I jumped at this opportunity for their Pacific leg.  About four weeks – a leisurely cruise – interspersed with squalls (and calm) – but nothing grueling like it would have been in a Clipper or Fastnet race.

My wife Dinaz did – and my family would’ve – supported this 100%, as they have my other whims and fancies.  Then I remembered my mother-in-law lives with us since 2017, when she had her stroke; and while Dinaz primarily takes care of her, I too help out where I can- especially moral & physical support to Dinaz.  So, it really wouldn’t be right or fair for me to go gallivanting the oceans while my wife solely supported her mom.  Hence my deep regrets to Bill & Kate.

No one knew COVID-19 would hit the WORLD just four months into their ‘adventure of a lifetime’!  Had I gone on the sail, not only would I probably have been stuck in some port; there would have been no flights back; I wouldn’t be with my family; and they and I would be worried for each other while the Coronavirus engulfed the Country (just as Bill & Kate must be currently for their family and vice-versa as they sail the Pacific).

So here’s the punch- while regretting the voyage was the right thing to do, in hindsight I now believe I was never meant to go as it never had been on the cards for me … “whatever happens, happens for the best”!

Likewise, the pandemic we are facing now is happening for a reason and if mankind can just learn and evolve from this experience, we will be the better from it.

Sala, what’s your problem, you MC… BC… ! (My Wife’s Going To Kill Me For This Post) 😊🤣🤣

March 5, 2020

We Zoroastrians love to swear … I know, I love it – especially when I’m behind the steering wheel!

For many of us, swearing is part of our life, our idiosyncrasy, what makes us ‘whole’ and ‘completes’ us!

There’s hardly a Parsi I have met to date who doesn’t swear.

You feel good after letting off a stream of expletives … however dirty, vulgar or crude (especially the ones in our local dialect 🤣).

When I’m behind the wheel, my creative instincts take over when I’m blind sided, cut across, signal run or whenever.  It’s just feels so good to ‘have it out at the world’!

However, one thing about our expletives – there’s no vile in it; there’s no malice or intent to hurt; while guttural there’s no mean intent behind it…and that’s a fact.  We do it because we love it and can’t live without it but never with an evil intention nor from the heart!

So, when you are with a Zarthosti and hear a sentence starting with “sala”, be ready for, most probably, a string of flowery, invigorating, interesting train of expletives to follow!

…. Oops, my wife just got wind of my post and I can hear HER expletives all the way down the hall – I need to RUN 🤣🤣🤣🤣!

(Apologies in advance to all Parsis who may be offended by this 🤣)

(Photo credit-
https://images.app.goo.gl/mRnFXtpsr1D9TCdB)

THE BIG BANG THEORY

January 30, 2020

This must be one of the most hilarious sitcoms I’ve ever seen!  After an hectic day, my wife and I watch episodes from Big Bang and your laugh comes from deep within you … but you ‘gotta’ have that sense of humour 😊 !

Each of these genius NERDS have their own idiosyncrasies, moods, humour, gall and idiocy… and, oh yes, let’s not forget their FASHION sense…

… but they are the fastest of friends…yet would kill each other [figuratively] when given a chance!

… they enjoy each other’s company.

(Photo credit- https://images.app.goo.gl/7a5UaSuSEyvTUjsG8)

… they enjoy their own mind games and their idiosyncratic humor.

… they live in their own little world.

… and, yeah, they enjoy their comic bookstore, collector-edition comics and Comicons!

So, what does this gut-spilling, hilarious comedy tell me – One can be a nerd and yet have friends from within that social group.  They don’t hide that they dislike confrontation.

They are not trying to fit in.  As far as they are concerned, their world revolves around their room and mutual activities.

This reminds me of my July 2019 post https://dinshawavari.com/2019/07/12/keep-up-with-the-joneses/

In our world, we try to fit in; we want everyone to like us; we have to live upto the expectations of our society.

… BUT DO WE REALLY HAVE TO?

Like the Big Bang characters, can we not be happy with ourselves and who we are, instead of what we should be or look like in the eyes of society?

Leonard, Sheldon, Rajesh & Howard were marginalized growing up but found their own social & work group and don’t feel compelled to follow society’s lifestyle or rules.

Isn’t that a more peaceful & contented way to live … not “keeping up with the Joneses”.

Gotta be … Grateful!

July 23, 2019

Gotta Be Grateful.png

This Instagram post from @house.of.leaders got me thinking…

There is a growing disparity I see in our daily lives between the those of us who “have” and the rest of our society.  There is a gulf which grows as the years progress.

Information technology, medical technology, smart phones, mortality rates and so much more are, without doubt, getting better – yet I believe the standards of life, in general, are getting worse for the vast majority of the world!  As I type this on my laptop in the comfort of my chilled room, @house.of.leaders’ quote glares at me in my face, as I realize 70% of the rest of our Country is withering away in the heat, families trying to get their children a minimal education, so that they can at least read & write, let alone own or use a laptop.

We have a roof over our heads; we wear clean clothes and shoes; have access to daily food, electricity, water, education, transport, medicines, justice … all of which we take for granted.  I just have to look out of our car’s window daily to actually see what the rest of our society CANNOT take for granted!

We all have our problems- whether health, mental, physical, work, family.  We shouldn’t complain when things don’t always work out for us; because the majority of the world’s population don’t even get a choice of how they can live … they just do!

(Ending Note- coincidentally, a complimentary Tweet by @sudheenkulkarni identifies this deficiency of “compassion” – had both our countries’ governments practiced compassion, I think 50% of these social problems would not exist!)

Gotta Be Grateful - Sudheendra Kulkarni Tweet.png

 

‘Keep Up with the Joneses’!

joneseslawnmower

July 12, 2019

We are an inquisitive nation and by extension an inquisitive people 😊!

Politically, we just cannot stop poking our [long] noses into others’ affairs … and more than that, commenting on the same.  We are ‘holier than thou’!

Locally, we must be part of the crowd – we just cannot mind our own business.

Socially, not only must we ‘keep up with the Joneses’ but we must comment on “them”, their life, clothes, dogs, cats and anything else we are inquisitive enough to bitch about.

We’ll stop to see an accident; we’ll mill around the affected; we’ll give our comments on who was right or wrong without even knowing anything about the incident; we’ll even pronounce judgement – all along with no relationship to affected parties concerned.  All because our voice must be heard above the din of another 50 onlookers with exactly the same purpose in mind 😊!

Oi people!!! … Get a life!  There’s more to life than inquiring into our neighbors’ comings and goings; the food they eat; their lifestyle; or who they meet.

We should get our own house in order … after all, there’s another countless tongues wagging at [against] us!

(Image sources- “www.cartoonstock.com”)

 

“Fate Will Take What Fate Will Have”- William Somerset Maugham

June 6, 2019

Death

(Image source- https://www.wired.com/story/giving-open-source-projects-life-after-a-developers-death/)

People say there are only two finite things in this World- however, I believe there’s only one … DEATH.  Many of you may not agree but I do believe DEATH is the only certainty in the whole world.  Everything else is your destiny … and what you make of your life.

William Somerset Maugham’s last play, “Sheppey”, tells the story of Sheppey, an hairdresser, who believes he is a lucky man.  Maugham ends the play with an old Arabic Fable, where “DEATH” visits Sheppey; and in reply to Sheppey, tells the story of a merchant in Baghdad trying to escape death.  (source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheppey_(play)).  Jeffrey Archer’s very first chapter, titled “Death Speaks” in his book “To Cut a Long Story Short”, requotes this very Fable.

Whatever our life and however good or evil we’ve lived it, in the end we just cannot escape the ONE certainty life has in store for us – our own DEATH.

We may be terminally sick, a building may fall on us, die in a war or an earthquake swallows us – nothing is by accident.  This was our fate, with the time and place written.

The only measure of comfort we may be able to get out of this certainty is how we die – the more violent, harder or painful may very well be a factor of how we lived our life.

So next time someone “good” dies – whether at a young or old age – I will try not to blame the so-called “cause” of the death or go in for a “blame game”; but look introspectively and try to reconcile that the person’s time had arrived.  Don’t blame yourself, nor the opposite person, nor the circumstances surrounding his death – this was meant to happen, at the time it happened and in the place it happened.

That’s all there is to it!

 

What’s the Time Please!?

(Photo credit- https://www.labmanager.com/leadership-and-staffing/2015/10/time-management-101#.XOZlwogzZnK)

May 30, 2019

Time Notes

In the 1980s, my two friends – #Shahrukh & #Shahveer – and I decided we’ll be on time for every party.  Guess what happened … we were the only three there at the appointed time!  What a riot … even the hosts weren’t around.

On average, we only have 657,000 hours in our lifetime – so why WHY NOT MANAGE TIME BETTER!?

Amongst my many idiosyncrasies, I hate being late and I hate waiting for latecomers – I get irritated; it vexes me (I love that term 😊); and it truly gets under my skin.

A close relative has an uncanny ability of turning up at a party just when the food is coming out or a minute earlier.  There has NEVER been a time when he has to wait for the food 😊.

Another close relative just cannot be at an appointment on time – even for his departing flight!  The one time I decided to trick him into going earlier by saying the flight was leaving 30 minutes earlier, was the only time he got to the airport on time … and the flight was delayed!  IRONY!!!

So what can one do-

  • Try putting your watch forward 15 minutes? However, your internal clock will smarten up almost immediately and you’ll know you have the additional 15 minutes available- and you’re back to square one;
  • You can have your partner nag the hell out of you to get out in time;
  • Your secretary can keep calling to pester you to go on time:

… OR, you can realize you only had 657,000 hours available (on average) in your lifetime – before the reaper comes calling – so make the most of it and DON’T BE LATE!

(Incidentally, we couldn’t fight the party system and Shahrukh, Shahveer & I were forced to (in the words of others) stop this ‘ridiculous’ behavior! 😊).